A few days ago, I reviewed a new YA graphic novel by Ilike Merey called a + e 4ever, which is about an androgynous teenage boy and the girl who falls in love with him (read my review here if you missed it).
Today I have the absolute pleasure of introducing you to Ilike herself in a guest post, plus some great news about the book!
Recently, the book was announced as a 2012 Over the Rainbow book (see the full list here) and as a 2012 Stonewall Honor Books in Children’s & Young Adult Literature (see the full list here)!
The Over the Rainbow committee’s mission is to “create a bibliography of books that exhibit commendable literary quality and significant authentic LGBT content and are recommended for adults over 18.”
The Stonewall Book Award is given annually to “English-language children’s and young adult books of exceptional merit relating to the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender experience,” and while not the overall winner, being an honor book is a huge accomplishment!
These awards are such an amazing compliment and I want to wish Ilike the most heartfelt congratulations! The book (and you) totally deserve the attention received, and then some, so I say, keep it coming!
Also, before I share the guest post, I just want to show you how talented (and awesome!) Ilike is: SHE DREW ME! Do you want to see how I turned out in two different graphic illustrations?
Check ‘em out (click the images for larger versions)!
Picture One: Hair II. (graphite, colored pencil, acrylic)
Picture Two: G. S, sleeping (ink, colored pencil, acrylic)
And now, here’s Ilike:
Wow, I was so flattered when Genna asked me if I would write a guest post about my book and/or my ideas about art and writing in general! Flattered and excited and she sent me a lot of questions to get the juices flowing. Problem was, I wanted to answer them all! As you can see though, even answering a few generated reams, so I’ve tried to keep it contained. Hopefully someone can make sense of my ramblings and maybe they can be even of the tiniest of help to a person out there working on their own project…!! Questions? Comments? Screams of outrage? I’d love to hear them. And thank you Genna, for your generous hosting!!
How did you get the idea to write a LGBTQ graphic novel? Where do you get your ideas from in general?
I see stories everywhere. All the time, everywhere I go, I see interesting situations and I write constantly. I probably write a few thousand words every day—they need not be sophisticated words, or necessarily for a book I’m working on. I may be writing an entry for my blog or an email to a friend, or jotting an idea on a cocktail napkin, but the compulsion to write is almost irresistible. Like my drawing, my writing is highly figurative: I am interested in people and in what they do. As with my drawings, my writing tends to focus on the human mind, body and heart, often at the expense of all other background…
To be perfectly honest, I never did have the idea to write a LGBTQ story and certainly not a graphic novel. But since I am interested in people and their souls, I wonder, what engages our souls more than being in love? A few years ago I had written four novellas that I fantasized about publishing in a collection at some point, sort of like some of Stephen King’s early works, back when he wrote under a pen-name. My four stories examined the different ways we love through four very different relationships—between a compulsive gambler and the man who tries to save him (gay love) a young drifter and the Japanese masseuse who supports him (straight love); a middle-aged woman and her unborn baby’s father (bisexual love)—and finally, a beautiful androgynous boy and the tough-as-nails girl who loves him too much (for lack of a better term, I’ll call it metasexual love?!) This last story was ‘a + e 4ever’, in novella form, and though I liked it and the others as well, unsure of what to do with them once they were finished, they began their slow languish to death on my computer’s hard-drive…
Inspiration
Watching people and interacting with them inspires me to write, but so does reading. Great books make me want to write more and try to become a better writer and it is a book that saved ‘a + e’ out of my computer’s graveyard…
About two years ago, a close friend and mentor gave me a wonderful graphic novel called The Diary of a Teenage Girl by Phoebe Gloeckner. Set in 70s San Francisco, ‘Diary’ focuses on a 13 year old aspiring artist’s exploits with her mother’s boyfriend. The story line, the unbridled, painful honesty of the heroine and the unconventional structure of the novel instantly fascinated me. I have always loved graphic novels and manga (Japanese comics). In fact, I got into drawing by trying to copy some of my favorite images from my favorite graphic novelists. But Phoebe Glockner’s book was structurally unlike any GN I had read before. Once I finished it, I became slightly obsessed with the idea of creating my own. When I thought about which one of my stories would be best to illustrate, ‘a + e’ seemed like a natural choice. For one, the relatively simple plot and limited settings meant less work 
And then, the two main characters had such a strong visual presence in my mind. Yet again, out of the four stories, ‘a + e’ is the one closest to my heart. I decided I would try to make it into a graphic novel.
Foreseeable problems:
- I had never made even a four panel comic in my life.
- I couldn’t draw!!!!
Novella to Graphic –The Long Hard Road Out of Hell
To anyone out there toying with the idea of making a graphic novel, I can’t advise you on what to do. Only on what NOT to do 
Myself, I did not do an ounce of research once I decided to start. I think somewhere I felt that if I researched the topic, I would become so intimidated I would never start. After all, I had only a very rudimentary knowledge of Pho-shop and InDesign (oh wait, that hasn’t changed > ) and while I could copy someone else’s drawing with some degree of accuracy, I never drew ‘out of my head’, or tried to draw anything unique. i.e, I had no distinguishing style.
Since I already had the story and dialogue written down, I didn’t have to come up with that, but transferring it into images was a huge pain. I’ll call the method used the Samuel Beckett “Try. Fail. Try again. Fail Better,” method. Each failed version of ‘a + e’ became a storyboard for the next version. Slowly, painfully, my drawing style started to emerge. The style was chaos. I realized there was no way I would ever be able to draw and ink as neat and precise as say… the ‘Scott Pilgrim’ guy ahaha, so I gave up trying. You can say I embraced my inner suck-suck. My book wouldn’t be neat and it wouldn’t be precise. I wouldn’t try to fudge it with Pho-shop—the drawings (other than fixing scanner mishaps) are digitally unaltered and the text is hand lettered.
Even with this final version, there are a thousand things I would go back and change, but at some point, I believe it is important to let a work rest as a milestone and not try to constantly go back and improve it with the knowledge you currently have. ‘a + e’ is a story about growing up, and the drawings in it are my artistic adolescence.
A Graphic Graphic Novel
One of Genna’s questions that really stuck with me was: How do you think teens will handle some of the darker subject matter of the book?
The question is hard to answer, because it goes back to ‘who do we write for? And why?’ This book is about teenagers, but I didn’t initially write it with any specific audience in mind. I wrote it because I had a story to tell about these two people, Ash and Eu, but the funny thing about writing is that creating something does not necessarily mean condoning or controlling what happens. When I write, I’m not god. I’m a bystander. The characters do what they do—I don’t draft plots for my stories when I start. I take the seed of a situation or a problem and start writing it down and once the characters take on their own life, I sit back and watch the situation unfold. I don’t want to be despotic with my characters and make them do what I would do, but that does mean that sometimes, you end up with situations that make even you, the author, uncomfortable. Yet you can’t edit it away because that feels like a lie. Still, during writing ‘a + e’, there were times when I stared at the screen thinking … can I write that? Can I really write that?
You find yourself dangling between being safe and being true…
This was a double problem once I turned the story into a visual medium. How do I depict teenage sexuality or desire in a way that is true without putting people off? How graphic is graphic? There are images and sequences in the book where I really agonized. Of course, I realize some readers will be put off no matter what. Teenage sexuality is probably a topic that makes a lot of people uncomfortable, but I believe sexuality doesn’t care one bit about who it disturbs. In my mind, it’s like a light. At some point in a life (for most people during childhood or young adulthood), it turns on and that’s that. You can ignore it, but you can’t deny it. You can have ideas about what it means, but it’s turning on in people all over, all the time with a flagrant disregard for our social rules and notions. Same with cruelty and moral ambivalence.
Black? White? Or grey?
‘a + e’ is in black and white, because until earlier this year, I basically considered myself a strictly black and white ‘artist’… [Yep, I still have issues with calling myself an artist. ] So the book only uses black, white—and grey. I think it works well, since my story is the anti black and white. You can say the question it’s ultimately trying to sound out is: Are we ever only boy or girl, gay/straight, right/wrong, strong/weak, pleasured/pained, in friendship/in love, a child/an adult…. Is anything ever all black or all white in our lives? I’m sure some people would say yes, but for me, I see these issues of identity and emotion in a million shades of gray. ‘a + e’ is about being a human being in that gray zone.
At the beginning of my story, everyone at McMillan High thought Ash Machnik was a freak, but to one Eu Mason, he was a walking piece of art and that made all the difference. Everyone avoided Eu Mason as a frightening, trash-talking bitch, but to one Asher Machnik, she was a loyal and honest friend. I hope if younger people do read this book, it may help them consider that it is okay to be masculine and feminine, cruel and sympathetic, creative and destructive all in one day. All in one body. It’s not always easy, but it is okay, and even if many may not understand it, for someone out there, that is the most ideal and perfect you.
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Thank you so much, Ilike! It has been such a wonderful honor getting to know you over the past few weeks and I wish you only the best of luck and success in the future! I cannot wait to read more from you. You truly a talented author and artist!
And now onto the giveaway….
One International winner will win a + e 4ever!
*The rules are simple:*
1. Follow via RSS/Networked Blogs & ask a question(s) below for Ilike about drawing, writing, graphic novels, or general life (mandatory)
2. Leave a comment w/ your question(s), name, following method, number of extra entries, and email address
*For extra entries, you can:*
1. Share the giveaway via Twitter, Facebook, Goodreads, or your blog (please supply direct links) for +2 entries each
2. Have a confirmed email subscription to the blog for +3 entries
3. Vote for the blog on Picket Fence blogs (here) for +1 entry
4. Connect w/Ilike (on her Blog or Goodreads) for +1 entry each
5. Add a + e 4ever to your “To be Read” shelf on Goodreads for +1 entry
The giveaway is open from Thursday, January 26th to Friday, February 3rd at midnight.
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